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October 26, 2009

SWEETTALK

<h3>Blue jeans for $200? Do they come pre-torn?</h3>

<b>By Guinn Sweet</b><br><a href="mailto:sweettalk@mineralwellsindex.com">sweettalk@mineralwellsindex.com</a>

Andrew Carnegie once said,”Of every thousand dollars spent … today, it is probable that nine hundred and fifty dollars is unwisely spent.” (“The Gospel of Wealth” pt. I, North American Review, 1889)

I noticed that Oprah has endorsed a specific style of blue jeans as her “favorite denim wear,” and it intrigued me, since I had seen a magazine article stating that Oprah weighs 190 pounds or more. I can’t imagine anyone that size even thinking of wearing any kind of jeans. They are designed to fit tightly, you know!

I can remember when my daughters were young and wore jeans all the time. They had to pull the pants up and jump up and down to fit themselves in them, then lie down on the bed to zip them up! Can there really find a jean big enough for Oprah to get inside them?

I went to the Internet to see if I could find some pictures of Oprah in CJ jeans. They are supposed to have been designed by Magic Johnson’s wife, Cookie, who says they came into being for use by women with “real bodies.” I think she must have meant “ample” bodies.

Alas, there were no pictures of Oprah available on the ‘net to demonstrate just how “ample” the bodies could be. After reading that I thought that maybe I could get a pair of those. I haven’t seen many short, “ample” bodied old ladies in jeans recently, but who knows, if they are comfy enough, I just might step out in some soon.

Then I saw a postscript of sorts at the bottom of the page, indicating the price of the jeans. Now, all of you who are on a restricted budget, Social Security benefits, or have a lot of bills to pay, go sit down somewhere secure and take a deep breath – the jeans cost $140 to $200 per pair.

OK, did I lose anyone with that announcement? Now, tell me, how much denim do you suppose they use for each pair? I am not sure how much material is required for one pair of jeans to cover a “real body,” but I have visions in my mind that it must be tent-sized. Or maybe the buttons are made of gold, or the thread is made of silver (“Silver threads among the gold” as the song goes)?

I remember when I was a little girl, quite some time ago, I wore denim. Sometimes it was the bibbed overalls, sometime it was what we called “waist pants,” now called jeans. They couldn’t have cost much, because my grandparents didn’t have much money during that depression. And we only wore them to work in the fields, feed the chickens or gather cow chips, so you know they were not expensive. One pair of Oprah’s CJ jeans would have cost about the same amount that food for a year cost us!

Another thought comes to mind. What if the CJs come with torn and worn spots on the knees and hip-pockets? Would there be a discount for those features, or would that make them cost more?

At this point in life, I am getting more miserly, not because I have to, but because I just can’t see that blue jeans are that pretty, can be worn to church and special functions or that would really fit my personal “real body.” Selling points such as “fits curvier figures” and “provide ample room” don’t make them more desirable to me, they just convince me that they are really for fat ladies.

It also affirms what Carnegie said, although I don’t think he had CJ jeans in mind.

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