Mineral Wells Index, Mineral Wells, TX

Columns

September 14, 2009

SWEETTALK

I might have hair of goats, but teeth of a flock of sheep?

“Behold, thou art fair, my love …thou hast doves’ eyes… thy hair is a flock of goats…Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn …” Either Solomon, or his black, comely lover, uttered these words in the Fourth Chapter of the “Song of Solomon.”

Whomever said it, and whomever those words described, certainly has my envy – both of them. Colon has never uttered such commentary regarding my looks, and maybe it is just as well that he has been so non-committal all these years, especially the last few.

Let me explain.

To begin with, if anyone described my teeth in the past couple of weeks, he certainly wouldn’t refer to them as a ”flock of sheep that are even shorn,” whatever that means. I can go along with the hair being like a “flock of goats.” I don’t really think my eyes are like a dove’s, unless the dove has only one good eye and one failing one. And fair? I think not. In fact my physician has prescribed a skin-bleaching ointment which is aimed at all the splotches on my once “fair” skin.

But back to the teeth. The few that are left are certainly far from the conformity of a flock of white, neat chunky animals.

I have been visiting my dentist for the past two weeks with some regularity and despair. While eating some raisins and nuts one evening just after returning from my recent trip, I felt something like a rock between my upper and lower jaw. I investigated and found that an “eyetooth” had broken off at the gum line, leaving an ugly gap in my upper front teeth. I ordered the dentist to remove all of the remaining ugliness and erosiveness of my mouth, and the rascal refused, saying that the remainder of my teeth had strong roots and should remain there as support to partial dentures.

I gave in to his advice when he told me that full-mouth dentures would rob me of my natural bite and that I would not enjoy eating with them. Well, you can guess that anything that interferes with eating would be a no-no for me, and I agreed to allow him to explain to both Colon and me the technique, the timing and the cost of his plans.

His explanations of each step and the order and cost involved were of a very logical and do-able nature. I could select the timing, he would select the techniques and I would pay his modest fee for his work. Then he advised me to go home and pray about it.

I found that prayer, some forced “fasting” for now and study of the bank account took a bit of the eagerness from my mind to get right at it. In fact, the thought of having some extractions, some delays at getting the gaps filled back in and the thought of having to go through the Christmas holiday eating with a painful mouth has discouraged greatly my decision to get on with it.

Perhaps the one big thing that is on my mind now is that I am this old and what if I spend all that money and have all that pain and discomfort and then don’t live long enough afterwards to enjoy it?

Oh well, at least I will have emptied the bank account and prevented Colon from having enough money to resume dating … but now that I recall, he never did spend much on our dates!

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